Conversations of an Adoptive family.......(updated)

So, Agirl's been talking a lot about babies...............where they come from...............

who her brother's birthmother is...........who her birthmother is.............

HOW do the babies come out.................

All things that I expect and I am prepared for at 3..........well, weeks from being 4.........years old.

I remember having the same conversations with Jman.

To document here, just so I won't forget:

*The other night at bedtime:

Agirl: "I grew in W's tummy, right?"

me: "Yes, that is right."

her: "Well, how did I get out?"

me: "God made a special way for babies to come out of their mommies and when you are a little older, I'll tell you how."

her: "When I am 4?"

me: "Well, your brother was 8 before he knew how babies come out."

her: "Well..............long pause...............I think I can know at 4 because I am a girl!"

Good point!

*Riding home in the car the other afternoon:

Agirl: "I grew in W's tummy and then I came out and you were my mommy and God made a special way for me to come out because he is God and he is good and very nice and he knows just how the baby needs to come out and when I am 4 I think that you are going to tell me just how God made the special way."

I know. I'm so proud! My daughter spoke the longest run-on sentence in history!!! And, she barely had to draw an extra breath!!

*This morning, riding in the car: (where lots of deep thought obviously occurs)

Agirl: "Who is Hannah and David's birthmom?" (Friends of ours)

me: "Well, not all kids were adopted like you and brother were. Many children stay with the mommy whose tummy they grew in. They grew in their mommy J's tummy."

Agirl: "So, their mommy is their birthmom?"

me: "Yes, that's right but, we don't call her that."

Agirl: "I know silly! We just call her Ms. J!"

me: (Thinking long and hard if I should further try to explain this...............I chose not to because by the time my brain quit trying to think and my mouth tried to talk, she was talking about how "the Fruity Cheerios she was eating taste just like Fruit Loops, only not so much like Fruit Loops because they are bigger than these and they really do taste a little bit different but not very much and I think that I like Fruit Loops better.............................."!!!!)

That's my girl! Can't imagine where she learned to talk!! :o)

Yesterday, Jman comes home with a homework paper for Science class.

It's called........."Genes Run In Families". Yep.

They are studying genetics. (In 3rd grade?!)

Now, for adoptive families who have lots of open contact with the birth families, this would not be an issue.

"For each trait on the paper, try to find a relative who shares this trait."

(And we're not just talking about hair color, eye color, shape of nose, etc. These things we know. We know his birth parents, have pictures. No, weird little things like wiggling your little toe, touching your tongue to your nose, and seperating your fingers web-like. Apparently 'traits' that not everyone has!!)

Not so easy for us. So, what is he to do?

We'll talk more about that when he gets home from school today and has to work on it. There are many traits on the paper that he shares with those of us in his family.

Altho, that is obviously not due to genetics.

This is not the first, nor will it be the last, time that school assignments will point out that he is 'different'.

That he was adopted.

That he may not have all the answers.

Saddens me a little bit. I pray that it does not sadden him.

**Update: Like most everything else, my son has taken this in stride. He said, "Oh well. I think you should just write a note to the teacher saying that I don't know what traits I share with my birth parents since I am not around them and that I want to pick what you and Dad have like me."

So there, obviously not upset about it!

Blessings!