".....when I grew in your tummy....."

During the Preschool years, ages 2 to 5, children become aware of pregnant women in their environment and ask questions about this.

This is normal and natural for all children. The answer to the question, "Did I grow in your tummy Mommy?" is very different for a child who has been adopted.

The other day, oddly enough while Agirl was on the potty of all times, she tells me, "When I was little, when I grew in your tummy!" I had never heard her mention this before or ask about it. I accept every opportunity that naturally comes from them as a time to tell my children about how they came to be a part of our family. (Both adoptions are open however, we have very little contact from either of their birth moms.)

I told her, "You didn't grow in my tummy, you grew in W's tummy and then I became your Mommy. W is your birth mom."

"Ms. W is my birth mom!?" (Then a brief discussion followed that our dear friend Ms. W is not that same W however, the only Ms. W that she knows and is around all the time! After looking at pictures of W, the birth mom, I think that's cleared up!!)

She looks at me sweetly, smiles, and says, "Oh Mommy............." and then proceeds to discuss that there are little bugs printed all over her underwear!! :o) This is all my little 3 yr. old needed..... this time. As I'm helping her off the stool, I hug her so tight, whisper "I love you so much!", and I feel a small, pin-prick piercing in my heart.

I would not want any other children than mine.......the ones I have..........the ones that God has gifted to me. The ones that He ordained to be mine since the beginning of time. While they did not come to me the way I had originally planned or desired, I am so grateful for the way in which they did come to me!

I would not be honest if I did not say that I wish I had been the one to have carried both of my children. When they ask me, "Did I grow in your tummy?", I long to say, "Yes! You did!" I remember some of these early conversations with Jman, around age 4 and 5. We would talk often about his having grown in J's tummy and how I came to get him. One night, he said, "I wish I had grown in your tummy Mama."

Tears filled my eyes and my heart sank a little. I told him, "Me too! But........I am so thankful that you grew in J's tummy! You would not be who you are if you hadn't! You would not look, act, think, or 'be' the way you are without having come from J! So, I'm so glad you did!" To which he said, "Me too, I love J.".

It is true, it takes more than biology to tie us to our children.....I have to be so thankful for where mine began......and where they came!

**I will get to documenting Agirl's story soon!