Faith, Hope, and finally..... Love! (third installment of Agirl's story)

(Be sure to read the first two parts below before this post.)

Looking back, I knew that I knew that we should not have entered into the emotional connection with V, her family, and their baby. We never should have formulated an adoption plan with them. From our first match meeting, something didn't 'feel' right. Remember that birth dad felt so sure and V didn't. I knew that. I could sense that she was feeling pushed and pressured and not at all certain about all the things we talked about. Well, when it fell through, I knew that had been the Lord speaking to me, showing me all the red flags, and telling me that this was not our baby.

When you want something so badly, it's very easy to take it all upon yourself and just ask the Lord to wait on the sideline!! HA! The thing is, He often will be a silent spectator........for awhile......if that's what it takes for you to learn your lesson on your own.....the hard way!!

We knew we'd get over that hurt and that we had to move on. Based on the experience we'd had with our first adoption, we knew despite our getting in the way, God's will would be done and we'd receive the child that was meant to be ours! We did not at all feel that He was telling us not to have another child. So, our profile letter was placed back in the book, we stayed busy with life with a nearly 5 year old and we waited.

That call came. In December. On a Monday. The 6th to be exact.

I was at work, my part time preschool teaching job, in my classroom.

I was called to the Director's office and told that I had a phone call.

It was the SW from the agency, calling to tell us about a precious baby who had been born on December 1st. It was a girl. We had been chosen. There were 'issues' and concerns and she was in the NICU, how much longer was uncertain.

I screamed! I hollered! I cried! I jumped all around! Sheer joy and excitement!

I called Coach and let him know.............and the talking, researching, and praying would begin!

Later that afternoon, we would talk more with our Social Worker, get more of the details concerning this baby, it's birth family and history, prenatal exposure to substances and lack of care, etc. We would call our doctors for advice. Mostly, we would pray! Were we to agree to this placement, we weren't sure when we'd be able to go get her, when she'd be released to go home.

You see, just as with Jman, after having gone through a failed match, we were spared all of that! No match meetings. No adoption plans. No waiting that 48 hour period to see if she'll sign. We knew if we said "yes", we'd be traveling to get a baby!

However.....all was not quite that simple!

There would be numerous phone calls the next few days, back and forth between us and the agency. Things were not real simple, there was a lot going on. In the midst of it all, we had a big decision to make....whether or not to bring this baby home with us.....on a legal risk! The birth father had not signed yet! If we brought her home, we knew that he could chose not to sign and contest the placement and she could go back. (It wouldn't be easy for him to fight the adoption.....from....prison but, not impossible we were counseled!) If we didn't bring her home, she would go to a foster home until it was all worked out.

No way our hearts could let that happen. She had already spent all this time in the NICU. No consistent caregiver, no one voice and touch to learn and trust. What if he signed and she were ours, did we want to lose that time with her that we could have brought her home right away?!

She needed to begin bonding with us, her probable new parents, as soon as possible!!

It was more important for her to be with us as soon as possible than it was for us to guard our hearts!

Yes! We wanted this baby............how soon could we get her??!!!

A placement meeting was scheduled for Thursday, Dec. 9th, at 1:30 p.m. at the agency in Dallas. We made care arrangements for Jman with friends (he would begin the day with one and finish with another!) and we took off! Another anxious, exciting drive to go meet our baby!

We were especially excited because we were to meet her birth mother at the agency, spend some time with her, and then go to the hospital to meet Agirl.

To our disappointment, W was not there. She did not come. She just wasn't emotionally able to come meet with us that day however, she had brought some things by for us and the baby.

W had gathered a bag, filled with clothes, a doll, and some other things for her baby. She had written the most beautiful card to her, and to us, and that gave us the validation that we needed. That gave us her 'permission' to receive and to love this child as our very own! The entitlement to move on.

We would spend the next couple of hours at the hospital. Holding, feeding, and loving our new daughter! She was so beautiful! She was so tiny! At not even 6 lbs., she had some trouble eating at first and had been jaundice. This day, she was ready to go home! After being strapped in her car seat, she was monitored for one more hour as the nurse gave us all our instructions. Finally, we were getting in the car and making the long, anxious, exciting trip back home to introduce Jman to his new sister!!

It's hard to describe how difficult the next four days would be. Those four days felt like four years! It would be that Monday before two Social Workers from the agency would make the long drive to meet with Agirl's birth father. No one knew what to expect. Would he sign in favor of her placement? Would he refuse? Would the agency be forced to place our new baby in foster care while a battle for her best could ensue?

This short period of time became such a test of our faith. And showed us so much about all the people that surrounded us, that loved us, and loved this new life in our home! We had prayer warriors like we'd never known praying for Agirl's precious little life and praying that her birth father would unselfishly, in love, do what was best for her! I personally know of one lady who was on her knees, in the church prayer room, that Monday at 11:00 during the meeting, praying without ceasing!! (We love you CeCe!!) And there were so many of you........thank you!!!

Finally, that afternoon, the call came from Elizabeth the SW. She said that Agirl's birth father was very concerned about her. He showed a genuine love for her, wanted to know if she was safe, loved, and in the best place. He cried. He loved her and knew that he could not have her. He signed the relinquishment papers and finally..........since bringing her home........we could breath and rest in assured peace that she was our forever daughter! Praise God!

Happy belated Adoption Day Agirl!! July 11th!!! Here we are, waiting outside the judge's courtroom. The judge got delayed and we waited for well over an hour! You slept off and on during that time. This was such a special day. Not only would you take our name and legally be ours forever, we would share this day with four other families from our agency! We all got to witness each other's blessings and miracles coming to fruition! It was a wonderful time!! (The pictures of the pictures are not good here!)

Swearing in.......we'll always and forever love, protect, and provide for you!

Agirl, your judge was so different than brother's. She took you right away and you sat on the bench with her the whole time. She let you explore all over the place! She had Jman stand there too so that he could help over see everything! He was so very excited!!

We were the first ones! Here we are..........minus Dad taking the picture.....our forever family watching all of our friends have their turn!


You were very hungry when it was all over! :o)

We wouldn't change anything about how either of our children came to us! They are so well worth all the heartache and trial it took to get them here!

Adoption is God's miracle gift to us in the form of our children!